The Daily Mauling: The Weekend Mauling

Gar, have ye tried a Baltic squid? They can suck the bolts out of a submarine’s hull.

The Rock Chalkboard

Three breakout candidates for the 2020 KU football defense
Kansas’ defense is losing the likes of safeties Mike Lee and Bryce Torneden and cornerback Hasan Defense, among others. The front seven also has some question marks, especially after the team lost sack-leader Azur Kamara.

Gethro Muscadin chooses KU basketball jersey number
“I’ve been wearing No. 35 for the past couple years and Kevin Durant is one of my favorite players,” Muscadin said. “I love his game.”

Big 12 sets return date for voluntary workouts
“Beginning June 15 football student-athletes will be permitted to access campus athletic facilities and support personnel for voluntary conditioning and training exercises,” the conference said in a press release. “Volleyball, soccer and cross country student-athletes are able to return July 1. All other Big 12 student-athletes may return to campus for voluntary sport-related activities July 15.

Bits o Chalk

Knicks legend, Georgetown coach Patrick Ewing tests positive for the coronavirus
“I want to share that I have tested positive for COVID-19. This virus is serious and should not be taken lightly,” Ewing said in a statement. “I want to encourage everyone to stay safe and take care of yourselves and your loved ones. Now more than ever, I want to thank the health care workers and everyone on the front lines. I’ll be fine, and we will all get through this.”

QB Caylin Newton, Cam’s brother, joins Auburn as grad transfer
Newton, whose older brother Cam won the Heisman Trophy and led Auburn to a national championship in 2010, announced Friday that he’ll be heading to The Plains as a graduate transfer.

Sources – New York Jets signing QB Joe Flacco to one-year deal
The question with Flacco, 35, is his health. The former longtime Baltimore Ravens starter underwent neck surgery in early April to repair a herniated disk and won’t be cleared for contact until late August or early September, a source said. He likely will participate in training camp on a limited basis, meaning no contact.

Source: Seattle Seahawks reach deal with ex-Texans running back Carlos Hyde
Hyde, who turns 30 in September, scored six touchdowns and ran for a career-best 1,070 yards on 245 carries for the Houston Texans last season and played in all 16 games for the second time in his career.

La Liga given green light to restart on June 8 by Spanish prime minister
“The time has come to resume many daily activities,” he said in a speech on Saturday. “From June 8, La Liga will return. Spanish football has a huge following.”

Bits o Chalk

What overextended coronavirus lockdowns could cause: Fauci
“We can’t stay locked down for such a considerable period of time that you might do irreparable damage and have unintended consequences, including consequences for health,” he said.

Liam Gallagher criticises Man City third kit and says the designers should be put “on a flight to Wuhan”
Commenting on the shirt in a now deleted post the former Oasis frontman, wrote: “Whoever is responsible for that new Man City kit needs putting on the nxt flight to WUHAN and who ever buys it needs to be on the 1 after c’mon you should fucking know LG x”

Kayleigh McEnany accidentally reveals Trump’s private bank account number during press conference | Daily Mail Online
However, Velasquez says it’s likely that President Trump’s account has additional security measures in place due to his status. His account is unlikely to be hacked because of McEnany’s faux pas.

Twitter Bots Drove the Push to ‘Reopen America,’ Study Finds
According to Business Insider, researchers from Carnegie Mellon University found that about half of more than 200 million tweets related to covid-19 that have been sent since January appear to be from bots. About half of all accounts tweeting about “reopening America” appeared to be bots, and 60 perfect of the 1,000 most influential retweeters appeared to be bots. Of the top 50 influential accounts, 82 percent are bots. Basically, a whole lot of fake accounts are artificially inflating the “movement” to reopen America. The researchers were able to categorize more than 100 types of inaccurate covid-19 stories, but tweets about ending stay-at-home orders were the most frequent.

NASA Wants to Pay You to Isolate on Fake Mars for 8 Months
If, more than two months into the coronavirus pandemic, you’ve thought to yourself, “hmmm, living in isolation kinda works for me,” NASA may have just the job for you. The space agency is seeking applicants for a social isolation study to develop methods and technologies for future spaceflight missions to Mars and the moon. Here’s what you need to know about the job we’re now all suddenly much more qualified for than we were a few months ago.

‘Taste Display’ Brings Fake Flavors to Your Tongue
No matter how they may make you feel, licking your gadgets and electronics is never recommended. Unless you’re a researcher from Meiji University in Japan who’s invented what’s being described as a taste display that can artificially recreate any flavor by triggering the five different tastes on a user’s tongue.

Last Call: Thinking way too hard about Chex Mix
After Thanksgiving Stuffing Chex Mix and Southwestern-style Chex Mex, the next best variety of Chex Mix is store-bought packaged Chex Mix, which unlike the homemade stuff has “fun” bits like teeny tiny breadsticks and not one, but two pretzel shapes. (They are not the same, and anyone who’s ever had even a single bite of Chex Mix will understand this.) There are lots of fun ways to mix and match the pieces to make each bite a little bit different than the last. And, of course, it’s a delight to rank them ruthlessly against one another, as Twitter users everywhere have predictably and admirably stepped up to do:

Source: Rock Chalk Talk